All Is Well! All Is Well!

I opened an envelope today and found myself swallowing a low level panic attack because of its contents. It was a check from my employer, and it turned out to be 1/3 of the amount I was hoping for. This triggered my panic reponse, and left me feeling like I couldn’t quite catch my breath. We’re in desperate need of every penny we can get, and simply put we couldn’t afford this.
I’m probably shooting myself in the foot by writing this, because I don’t want to piss anyone off. But I’m sort of looking for a way to head this off at the pass, before I wind up laying in bed with a pillow over my head. The one thing that keeps going through my head is “bad timing, bad timing”. Especially with a massive tree limb laying in the back yard that fell last night (and luckily missed the house). It’s time to buckle down and make some things work, but in the interim I’m having to rely on some other people to keep my head above water, and I don’t like that at all. I keep trying to shake the feeling that we’re one calamity away from total disaster.
As I mentioned when I inquired about the amount of the check that I received today, we have no wiggle room down here at the moment. I’m just hoping and praying that the Universe doesn’t figure that out and decide to say “Oh, there you are!” I feel like I’m scanning the sky for the proverbial meteors again.