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Ups and Downs

I hate depression. How it eats away at your periphery, like a disease trying to gnaw down to your core. I don’t know any useful methods to beat it. So you just sit there and let it feed, and hope you’re resilient and stubborn enough that you’ll win out in the end. But all you really want to do is go to bed, cover your head, and wait for death.
However it sounds, I’m not that bad today. Just a little down. I guess yesterday was such a high that it was destined to end badly. I won’t go into details. But suffice it to say that I’d been fighting my neck all day (I have chronic problems) and it finally won out. At a most inopportune time.
I’m going to get busy. I have 1,001 things to do. Progress is always good for the soul. Or at least they tell me. Most of my life I’ve been a leaf on the wind. Sometimes a happy leaf, but always at the whim of fate and the intent and need of others. I think I’m ill suited for this world. I’ve never known quite how to make my way. Too much dreamer and not enough realist, I guess.
Maybe when I die the Universe will make me into melodies carried on the wind. Honestly, I think that’s all I’ve ever really wanted to be.

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